Are you considering getting involved in a love relationship but are not necessarily sure if you are ready. Have you been hurt before and find yourself being very guarded when it comes to dating? Well here are 5 signs that you may be ready to take that step and 5 that you should probably wait. See where you fall according to the signs.
#1. Ready: Contentment: When love is a desire.
Not Ready: Desperation: When love is a need.
Everyone has met the person that has to be in a relationship in order to feel whole. They get out of one relationship, only to find themselves in another a week later. We all have a friend or relative like this or maybe you are that person. You have back up relationships or a waiting list just in case the relationship you are in doesn't work out, you can replace it tomorrow. The person that is afraid to be alone is usually the person that needs to embrace singlehood for a season. If there is always a relationship for you to focus on, it leaves very little time for you to focus on yourself and personal development. If you find that you cannot stand to be alone for any period of time, I encourage you to ask yourself what about you are you afraid of.
The person that experiences contentment enjoys life as a single but would like to be a part of a loving relationship. Not because they need to be with someone but because they desire to enjoy the companionship of what love has to offer and what they can offer someone else. Because this person has learned to enjoy their single life they are more likely to set standards for themselves concerning who and what they allow in their life and they often appear less needy in their relationships. These people usually have fairly healthy self-esteem and are selective of who they give their hearts to.
Content people are usually not in a rush to place a title on themselves such as (girlfriend and boyfriend) because they themselves want to make sure that this relationship is worth giving up the freedoms of singlehood. They understand that with relationship comes some sacrifice. The person that they allow into their life is someone that they believe shares the same values and has standards for themselves as well.
#2. Ready: When you recognize your own personal value.
Not Ready: Lacking awareness of self worth.
We have all heard the saying, "you can't love someone until you love yourself." Well loving yourself is much more than just a cliché. It is important to recognize that you are a valuable human being. When you recognize your value and understand that no matter what your past may be, you are created and accepted by God, you are less likely to allow someone to be abusive or devalue you in a relationship. This also means you have the capacity to recognize the value of another person, and encourage their growth instead of destroying their personhood in order to make yourself seem important. Recognizing your value and finding a love for who you are and will become often means you have the ability to identify when you are not giving and receiving the love that is deserved.
We tend to take excellent care of valuable possessions such as homes, jewelry, clothing, and cars but often spend very little time making sure that we are well taken care of. If you have an exquisite vehicle, you most likely will not haphazardly give the keys to your teenager, because they are not always mature enough to understand the value and work put into securing the vehicle. Why would you give yourself over to someone that is not mature enough to handle your heart and emotions with care? That is like handing the keys to the Bentley to a teenager that just got his license this morning. Understanding that your time, mind, will, and emotions are valuable represents a person that is ready to take on a mature relationship.
# 3. Ready: When you've identified what you want/don't want in a partner.
Not Ready: Not knowing yourself enough to even know what you want in a partner.
Identifying what you want and do not want in a partner is a very important aspect to coupling. So many people are looking for love but don't have a clue as to what love looks like for them. I often encourage relationship hopefuls to make a list of what they desire in a mate and what they will not accept. Once they have identified the characteristic they want in a mate, I then encourage them to work on developing those characteristics themselves. If they want someone that is financially stable then they should be striving to achieve financial stability as a single person. It is also very important to understand that it is close to impossible to find someone that meets every characteristic on a list but everyone should try to identify what they want so when it shows up they recognize it. You would be amazed at how many people want to be respected but couldn't tell me what respect looks like or how they would know they were receiving respect. For this reason, I tell people to identify what they want and so they won't accept what they don't want.
# 4. Ready: When you've began to allow yourself to heal from past wounds.
Not Ready: When you carry all your old baggage around with you.
Holding on to hurts that were caused by past relationships can destroy present and future opportunities to make a love connection. Obviously we must guard our hearts and learn from the wounds we have received, but if you are carrying the baggage of an old relationship into a new relationship you are not ready to be involved.
A person that has found healing through spiritual connection, forgiveness, counseling, or all of the above can accept someone for who they are without comparing them to someone else. When you have began the healing process you can have a positive attitude about love and the future. People that have not found healing make statements such as "all men are......" and "all women are.....". They associate their past experience with every possible man or woman as a defense mechanism. Healing is obviously a process that does not take place over night, but if you find yourself waiting for the current man or woman to do exactly what the last did to you, you may want to take some time for yourself to seek emotional healing and start the process of forgiveness.
#5. Ready: When you are ready to give and receive the gift of love.
Not Ready: When you think you do not deserve to be loved or are too selfish to give love.
You are ready for a relationship when you recognize that love is about giving and receiving. You have to have the ability to allow yourself to receive love as well as give it with freedom. Those that feel they are ready for love may mistakenly believe this is simple. Working towards your healing from past hurts is very important in order to reach the stage where you can allow someone to love you and accept and trust that love. It is not productive to be in a one way relationship where you are doing all the giving or all the receiving. A loving relationship is symbiotic or beneficial for both parties.
There are many signs that tell if a person is ready or not ready for a love relationship. Compare your characteristics to those listed above and discover if you should wait or take your chances with love now or later.
#1. Ready: Contentment: When love is a desire.
Not Ready: Desperation: When love is a need.
Everyone has met the person that has to be in a relationship in order to feel whole. They get out of one relationship, only to find themselves in another a week later. We all have a friend or relative like this or maybe you are that person. You have back up relationships or a waiting list just in case the relationship you are in doesn't work out, you can replace it tomorrow. The person that is afraid to be alone is usually the person that needs to embrace singlehood for a season. If there is always a relationship for you to focus on, it leaves very little time for you to focus on yourself and personal development. If you find that you cannot stand to be alone for any period of time, I encourage you to ask yourself what about you are you afraid of.
The person that experiences contentment enjoys life as a single but would like to be a part of a loving relationship. Not because they need to be with someone but because they desire to enjoy the companionship of what love has to offer and what they can offer someone else. Because this person has learned to enjoy their single life they are more likely to set standards for themselves concerning who and what they allow in their life and they often appear less needy in their relationships. These people usually have fairly healthy self-esteem and are selective of who they give their hearts to.
Content people are usually not in a rush to place a title on themselves such as (girlfriend and boyfriend) because they themselves want to make sure that this relationship is worth giving up the freedoms of singlehood. They understand that with relationship comes some sacrifice. The person that they allow into their life is someone that they believe shares the same values and has standards for themselves as well.
#2. Ready: When you recognize your own personal value.
Not Ready: Lacking awareness of self worth.
We have all heard the saying, "you can't love someone until you love yourself." Well loving yourself is much more than just a cliché. It is important to recognize that you are a valuable human being. When you recognize your value and understand that no matter what your past may be, you are created and accepted by God, you are less likely to allow someone to be abusive or devalue you in a relationship. This also means you have the capacity to recognize the value of another person, and encourage their growth instead of destroying their personhood in order to make yourself seem important. Recognizing your value and finding a love for who you are and will become often means you have the ability to identify when you are not giving and receiving the love that is deserved.
We tend to take excellent care of valuable possessions such as homes, jewelry, clothing, and cars but often spend very little time making sure that we are well taken care of. If you have an exquisite vehicle, you most likely will not haphazardly give the keys to your teenager, because they are not always mature enough to understand the value and work put into securing the vehicle. Why would you give yourself over to someone that is not mature enough to handle your heart and emotions with care? That is like handing the keys to the Bentley to a teenager that just got his license this morning. Understanding that your time, mind, will, and emotions are valuable represents a person that is ready to take on a mature relationship.
# 3. Ready: When you've identified what you want/don't want in a partner.
Not Ready: Not knowing yourself enough to even know what you want in a partner.
Identifying what you want and do not want in a partner is a very important aspect to coupling. So many people are looking for love but don't have a clue as to what love looks like for them. I often encourage relationship hopefuls to make a list of what they desire in a mate and what they will not accept. Once they have identified the characteristic they want in a mate, I then encourage them to work on developing those characteristics themselves. If they want someone that is financially stable then they should be striving to achieve financial stability as a single person. It is also very important to understand that it is close to impossible to find someone that meets every characteristic on a list but everyone should try to identify what they want so when it shows up they recognize it. You would be amazed at how many people want to be respected but couldn't tell me what respect looks like or how they would know they were receiving respect. For this reason, I tell people to identify what they want and so they won't accept what they don't want.
# 4. Ready: When you've began to allow yourself to heal from past wounds.
Not Ready: When you carry all your old baggage around with you.
Holding on to hurts that were caused by past relationships can destroy present and future opportunities to make a love connection. Obviously we must guard our hearts and learn from the wounds we have received, but if you are carrying the baggage of an old relationship into a new relationship you are not ready to be involved.
A person that has found healing through spiritual connection, forgiveness, counseling, or all of the above can accept someone for who they are without comparing them to someone else. When you have began the healing process you can have a positive attitude about love and the future. People that have not found healing make statements such as "all men are......" and "all women are.....". They associate their past experience with every possible man or woman as a defense mechanism. Healing is obviously a process that does not take place over night, but if you find yourself waiting for the current man or woman to do exactly what the last did to you, you may want to take some time for yourself to seek emotional healing and start the process of forgiveness.
#5. Ready: When you are ready to give and receive the gift of love.
Not Ready: When you think you do not deserve to be loved or are too selfish to give love.
You are ready for a relationship when you recognize that love is about giving and receiving. You have to have the ability to allow yourself to receive love as well as give it with freedom. Those that feel they are ready for love may mistakenly believe this is simple. Working towards your healing from past hurts is very important in order to reach the stage where you can allow someone to love you and accept and trust that love. It is not productive to be in a one way relationship where you are doing all the giving or all the receiving. A loving relationship is symbiotic or beneficial for both parties.
There are many signs that tell if a person is ready or not ready for a love relationship. Compare your characteristics to those listed above and discover if you should wait or take your chances with love now or later.